If you’re a grill person–we’re grill people, Florida is a state full of year-round grill people–you already own the basics: decent tongs, a lighter or two, maybe even a grill basket. But when other people are doing the shopping, you’re being presented with an amazing opportunity to ask for a wireless digital grill thermometer. Or a beer holster. Objects you might really love, but would never purchase for yourselves. Behold: the ultimate grill registry.
1 :: Monogrammed Forged Steak Brand–in a sense, this is an easy one. Let the newly wedded couple monogram their meat; the couple that brands together, stands together. Or something equally ridiculous.
2 :: Monogrammed Williams-Sonoma BBQ Tools Set–we use this exact kit at my house, and I’m always impressed with its heft and durability. And the monogram brands you (OK, so now I’m counting how many times I can say “brand” in this post) as A SERIOUS GRILLER…so don’t steal my shit.
3 :: Custom Leather Beer Holster–they had me at Brew Holster Cult. But for real: where the hell else are you going to put your beer? On the grill?
4 :: Grill Daddy Grand Grill Steam Cleaning Tool–what to use when your buffalo burger experiment goes very wrong.
5 :: Char-Broil Patio Bistro Electric Grill–the Vespas of grills. Petite and perfect for urban balcony grilling.
6 :: Pizzacraft Pizza Stone Grill–dedicated outdoor pizza ovens–while beautiful and admittedly delicious–can top 5k. While not quite coal-fired, this will get you close.
7 :: Stainless Steel Jalapeno Poppers Grilling Rack–if you don’t like the smoky, cheesy heat of stuffed jalapenos on the grill, then you really need to reevaluate that life choice.
8 :: Quirky Sliders Skewers Set–made for elegant kebab etiquette; perfect for dinner with a couple you don’t know very well.
9 :: Cast Iron Garlic Roaster and Squeezer Set–better than butter; spread on a toasted baguette.
10 :: Steak Branding Iron Set–brand (3!) your filets with a set of W, M, and R irons (for well-done, medium, and rare). This seems far more useful to me than a monogrammed brand, but hey! Some people just want to go around slinging their initials on stuff.
11 :: Grill Alert Talking Remote Meat Thermometer–this clips to your beer holster and notifies you with a “Hey asshole! I’m burning over here!” message when you forget your meat. Useful for the wandering griller.
12 :: Animal Towels–an educational talking point.
13 :: Ultimate Fish Basket–stuff the inside with lemons and herbs. Give the fish a lift and tiny shake when it’s cooked, and the tender meat will fall right off.
14 :: Table Grill–so pretty, you could use it in your living room. Not that we’d recommend it.